Communicating with a player can sometimes be a delicate balancing act. I need to be honest with them, but I also need to be compassionate and understanding. I need to push them, but I need to be patient too. I need to hold them accountable.
Here are some of the things that I try to keep in mind.
I HAVE to be honest with players. My whole point in being with a player is to tell them what they are doing and how to do it better. If I don’t accurately tell them those things, then I serve absolutely no purpose. I try to be as impartial as possible. I try to keep in mind and relay to the player that I’m not judging them as a player or person. I’m simply commenting on a habit or a single shot. And I try to explain that perfection is not our goal. It isn’t realistic. Instead, we are working towards improvement, and some shots won’t be our best.
I really work hard early to build the kind of relationship where I can say “Nope, that wasn’t it”, or “not your best”. At the same time, as soon as I see something positive I make sure to comment on it as well. Coaching isn’t always being negative and seeing the things that need to get better. It is also about acknowledging and celebrating the good as well.
The celebrations don’t need to be elaborate. We don’t need to bake a cake every shot that a player gets their non-shooting hand off the ball, but there is nothing wrong with a well placed “yes…..” A big celebration for a small accomplishment wouldn’t be honest, and players can sniff that stuff out. They can tell when coaches are being disingenuous.
As I’ve grown as a coach, I’m much more comfortable having the awkward moments. Some of them as positive and all of them are necessary. I’ll stand in front of a player, grab him by the shoulders with a big smile on my face and say “that was REALLLLY good”. I’ll stop a drill when they aren’t doing it well and explain what I need for them to do better. I’ll ask them for their opinion, and I’ll listen to their answers. I’ll look them in the eye and tell them that I hear what they are saying, but that we need to push through the discomfort because our habits aren’t good enough yet. I’ll make sure to say it in a way that i’m not commenting on them as people, or players, or their effort. I’m just commenting that the habits aren’t there yet.
